Consciousnes

You have heard the word Consciousness. When a finger is pointing to the moon, you see the moon. When you hear this word – consciousness - where is it pointing to? The finger pointing to the moon shows you the moon. Now the word ‘consciousness’ is used pointing to something. After having heard this word what do you see? What do you perceive? Who are you?

You are always consciousness: You have been, you are, and you always will be. Where is the difficulty in accepting the truth and what is real? Who told you that you are ignorant? Where did this ignorance arise from in the first place? Again and again you have affirmed, "I am ignorant, I am ignorant, I am ignorant." and then we suffer. With the repeated affirmation, "I am bound." and "I suffer." this universe is created with endless suffering, incarnation, reincarnation, and endless birth and death. Somehow this cycle has started. Who is responsible for it? It is only your affirmation that this is real, this ignorance is real, this snake is real. There arises the fear; this snake has concealed the reality of the rope.

How is it possible to remove the concept of the snake? Who will remove this doubt? Now you cannot see the rope because you are attached to the idea of the snake. But there was never any snake. In the same way, you cannot see consciousness because you are attached to the imposition of ignorance. There was never any ignorance; you are consciousness itself. The snake will be removed by reasoning, not by sitting near it and meditating. Meditation will not remove the snake. You will have to see through reason that the snake is not moving. You are in shock, you are suffering, you are trying to pick up a stone or stick to beat the snake with; that is how you are engaged here. You have not used reason, and this is called ignorance. Move towards it, look at it carefully, or listen to someone coming from the other side who tells you that this is not a snake; it is just a piece of string lying here. He had not seen the snake, so on hearing his words the snake vanished because it never existed. There was only a rope underneath; through ignorance you took it to be a snake.

In the same way, through lack of reasoning you have accepted your affirmations that "This samsara is real." and "I am bound." It may never have existed at all. Sit down quietly and reason it out. Through this reasoning you will find out who has concealed consciousness and created ignorance. Or listening to someone who knows it was a rope can remove your doubt. On hearing this once from a responsible person the snake will disappear and you will see that it was a rope, that "I am consciousness." Now as I say the word ‘consciousness,’ put it to the test stone and see if this word is correct. Go near and see if ignorance is real or not. Only then will you know that you are consciousness and Truth itself. You are satyam, shivam, sundaram.

You have been told from the very beginning that ignorance exists, and now this has become a reality. This ignorance does not exist at all. When you sit quietly where is the ignorance? Somehow we have accepted it, so the question now is how to remove this ignorance. When you add wood to a fire it becomes fire and burns completely, so that there is no more wood left. And when all the wood has become fire, when there is no more fuel, the fire also goes out. What is the fire that will remove ignorance and return you back to your own status, to your own abode, to atman, to Brahman?

There is really no name for your original nature but we have to converse. I say the word ‘consciousness.’ It is perhaps a finger pointing to the moon, but the finger is not the moon. It is only pointing to the moon because you can't see the moon. Someone who has seen it points his finger. If you cling to the finger you can't see the moon. Most people cling to what they have learnt, they cling to a teaching and start meditating. They become so interested in the means that they forget why the means was needed - the finger was needed only to see the moon. Meditation is a finger pointing to freedom. But everybody got attached, and now different societies are running meditation and nobody speaks about enlightenment.

The only fire which can burn everything is the fire of inquiry. Any practice which you perform is with the mind, and the result will be only mental. The trouble is with the mind, so we must find out how to get rid of the mind itself. The whole creation of past, present, future, hell, heaven, creator, preservation and destruction is just mind. The mind is simply a thought. There is no difference between a thought and the mind.

There is one prime thought that becomes the mind, that becomes the ego, body, senses, manifestation and time. All these millions of universes are hanging like dust particles in one thought. Give rise to the thought - 'I' - and everything arises. In this one thought exists the past, present, millions of universes, hells and heavens, and gods and creators, preservers and destroyers. How can this 'I' be arrested? If this 'I' ceases, everything ceases. When 'I' arises, everything arises in front of you. Now everything has arisen because you use the word 'I', but when there is no 'I' there is nothing.

When you enter into the deep sleep state without even any dreams you do not see any object, you do not see any subject, you do not see any manifestation - no creator nor creation. This is a dull state because there is no awareness at all so you may not recognize it. In deep sleep you forget yourself completely. There is no body, there are no senses, there are no objects. Nothing is there because there is no 'I' thought there. When you wake up in the morning the first thought to arise is the thought 'I'. You think, "I am so-and-so", and instantly the whole world arises before you. How is this thought to be checked?

There is a fire in this inquiry; if you simply inquire, "Who am I?” This is a fire which will burn everything: all the modifications of the mind, past, present and future. Just these three words: "Who....am....I.....?" are a fire which will burn everything, as the fire we talked of earlier. After having burnt past, present, and future, they will also burn the memory. And this inquiry will also be burnt as wood burns completely in a fire. The 'I' thought which went to inquire into its own nature is no longer to be found, and in this your true nature is revealed.

This inquiry can be conducted in this very instant. It is not a long procedure, it is not a practice. You do not have to do anything for this inquiry. You simply need to investigate, to inquire without thinking about anything and without performing any kind of practice. No effort or thought is involved. This is the inquiry that I speak about: to find out what this 'I' is which has created this manifestation. After having made this inquiry, keep quiet. If you do not think, and do not make any kind of effort that which you have never heard described, that which cannot be achieved or attained will reveal itself. It will reveal itself once you have conducted this inquiry and given up all kinds of thought and effort.

This auspiciousness is your own swarupam, your own Self, your own atman, your own Brahman. It is that which is everywhere. This is very simple for those who can hear innocently, without working the thinking process and the memory. You can postpone this, but sooner or later you will have to return home; and whenever this happens it will be this very second. You can postpone this second endlessly and endless universes will arise. It is up to you. Decide now. You can end it in this very second or you can create more universes. This very second is out of time because 'I' is time, mind is time. When you inquire into this 'I' it is gone. What happens is a revelation which does not take place in time at all. It transcends time, ego and everything.

Simply keep quiet and do not do anything at all.

17 July, 1992

Turn the Mind to Face its Source

When your mind is not clinging to any object, to any person or idea, its face is turned towards its Source.

This is very simple. Millions of books about enlightenment and freedom have been written and are available in the world, and what is the result? People have been working for enlightenment, freedom, liberation, emancipation, moksham, since thousands of years. What is the result? Everything that you do, everything that you have been told to do, it is with the mind. When you read a book you are reading with the mind. When you are meditating you are meditating with the mind. When you are doing anything you are always doing it with the mind. This is why there is no result.

Distract the mind immediately from any object, person, or idea. It is that simple. Then the face of the mind is turned towards its source for the first time, and a reflection from somewhere un-told, un-described will fall on this mind which is not dwelling on the past. All objects, ideas, and people belong to the past. Now for the first time the mind has been directed towards its own native place, its own abode.

With the reflection of beyond it loses its entity as the mind. It becomes no-mind now. It is satyam - truth, shivam, and sundaram. Other than this I am not aware of any other process by which you could be free. If you have any ideas, any attachments to anything - including your own body, your mind, your intellect or anything else - how could you be free? Just by giving rise to one thought of the mind - the ‘I’ thought - and there is instantly past, present, future, manifestation, suffering and a cycle of incarnations, never ending reincarnations.

If you so choose, if you so desire, it can be put to an end right now. But you have not taken that decision so far. You have been postponing this decision and passing through millions of births, taking millions of years and this decision still is waiting. I do not know what you are looking for or why you are afraid to return to your own native place, to the abode of all auspiciousness, happiness, love, and beauty. Why are you shirking your responsibilities?

9 July, 1992

Doubt

Let us speak together about doubt. I tell you when attending satsang, not to bring doubt along with you. I receive many letters describing beautiful experiences, but they all end with: "Am I on the right path?" Also the people who leave here begin to experience doubts.

It is like someone going to dig rubies in the river in Bihar State, where rubies are found. A man finds a ruby on the sand at the riverside but he throws it away. He doubts his luck, "How can I find it so easily?" he says, so he throws it back in the river. "People around me are digging for 150 feet and they still have not found anything, so I will throw it away." He doubts, "Is it a ruby or a piece of glass?"

Doubt is the only thing that is troublesome. The books of knowledge give you the highest teaching directly, only doubt stands between you and that teaching. Since time immemorial they have been passing this ancient teaching from chest to chest that "You are That." The teaching was coming directly, only doubt exists between you and That. Secondly it is taught that "I am Brahman." and thirdly "All this what I see, feel, hear, touch and taste is all myself." But doubt is in the way so that we don't believe.

It is true of all the teachings: if we listen without doubt one word is quite enough. When you come to satsang do not entertain doubt by questioning, "Is it going to happen to me?" Do not use the intellect as a test stone, because it will not give you the correct indication of gold. Throw it away. But many are not ready to do that so they will not get the point. They will take this teaching and continue to suffer endlessly, for immeasurable time. Your suffering will not end unless you remove this doubt from within you.

Somehow, since my childhood I have not carried any doubt. I didn't have doubt, I had never heard of doubt, because my first teacher was my own mother. Whatever she told me instantly happened to me. I was a child and I never knew or heard about doubt. I got it instantly. She used to tell me stories and they manifested in front of me instantly because I had no doubt whether this reality or not. Usually when you hear a story you entertain doubts. I tell you stories here as the mothers tell stories to their children, but they are not really stories. This is truth in an essence, in simple words, spoken in story form.

I will tell you a story about doubt which I have heard from my mother when I was six or seven years old. In ancient times people used to go to satsang early in the morning, at four in the morning, before going to their business or office. In my own town in Pakistan there was a bank manager. He used to conduct satsang in his own house from four to five. About twenty people used to gather and he used to speak on a book called Vichar Sagar, I remember. It's a very ancient book of direct teachings from Vedanta, written by a Punjabi saddhu called Nichildas. I used to attend that morning meeting when I was very small, maybe seven or eight. This was happening every morning and evening. There used to be gatherings in my own town, vedanta teaching, devotional teaching, yoga teaching and kundalini yoga. All these different teachings were there. There were also discourses in the evening. This was only 70 or 80 years ago. People used to take their food and sit near their lane to attend the Satsang till 10:30 or 11:00 and then come back home. Morning and evening satsang were a must for everybody. He may be an office boy, he may be a business man, he may even be a worker. Even people who were driving hand carts used to attend.

About one bandit – robber - this was also a profession. Some go for satsang and some go for their game in the night, so he goes. So one day he was passing, he just heard someone speaking about… about a young boy having a diamond padded cap on his head and a garland of celestial gems around his neck and that's all he heard; and he stopped. He sat down near the gathering and listened. So at about 10:30 this satsang was over and the priest has collected whatsoever money was given to him after. After satsang some money's left for the priest and some gift also; so he collected and put them in a bag. And everyone is leaving for his house and he's leaving for his house - his family is waiting. This is his profession, to recite stories in the evenings.

And he's going his way and this man [the bandit] just went to him… asked him, “Give me the address of this boy you spoke about – having the diamond imbedded cap and the garland of gems around his neck… a garland. Give me this address.” Now this Brahmin priest, he's reading a story. This man tells him, "Give me the address of this boy." He says, "You know that path going to the river Yamuna, that side. At that time he goes for bath every morning at four o'clock. You go there and you will see him." "Okay, let's find. But I cannot… I cannot recognize him. I've not seen him. You come with me." So he said, “My family is waiting for me and later on your family, you know.” Then he put the pistol on the chest and he gave his introduction now: "I do not know him. You come with me and you simply tell me this man, that's all, and then you go. But two cannot hide behind one tree. You stay in that tree and I in this tree. You simply point out this is the boy and then that's all. Then I will come." And then he tied him with the rope so that he doesn't run away.

Time is now 11 p.m. He [robber] has tied him [priest]. He's hiding and now the time is passing - 11 to 4. This man spoke like this is a story, and this man says, “He didn't take it as story; he took it's a fact.” And this priest is counting every minute of his death, and this robber is counting every minute of his luck, “I will have this diamond. I'll be very rich, you see. I'll be very rich.” So he's totally concentrated. Nothing else… nothing else between him, and his mind is only concentrating on the diamond and this boy which he described - a young boy wearing a cap imbedded with diamonds, garland around his neck. Time is passing… time is passing now. This thought that this boy having diamonds around his neck. Now the time is now 4 o'clock.

And now this thought itself has manifested. You can also manifest what you think; you are not away from your thought. You are a thought itself - you become what you think. You become what you think instantly. You… you are thought. You have conviction, “I am the body.” so you are. You listen every day, “You are existence, consciousness, bliss.” This is also a thought, nothing else. Because conviction of the body is stronger than this conviction that, “I am consciousness. I am bliss.” So whatever is the stronger thought so you become. There's no doubt - you are thought itself.

So at 4 a.m. this manifested itself. The boy comes in front of him and gave him the garland and the cap he was wearing himself. “So it's very nice of you, but wait… don't go away… because I didn't have your address. There is another partner in this deed and you have something else that I did not hear. I only heard cap of the diamonds and the garland but you have something on your arm also. So this I will… this gift I will give to this priest. You come with me.” So he took this boy in front of that one. He's still tied with the rope. He thought, “He's now going to kill me. He's going to kill me.” Before reaching him he folded hands, “Sir, I told you a story from the book. Don't kill me. My wife, my children are waiting for me. Don't kill me now. I told a story - it was a story only.” Then he says, “No, no, no. You were right. I'm very thankful to you. Exactly at that time here is the boy; here is the boy and here are the diamonds. And I can only take garland and only the cap but here is something on his arm also, so I will give you this gift. Still he doesn't believe. He said, “Don't, don't, don't bluff me please. You have to kill now… kill me now, that's all. Kill me.” “You don't see?” “No, no, no, I don't see. I don't see.” Then he says, “You see this… you see this hand?” With the touch of his hand he saw who this boy was… who this boy was. And this Brahmin, this priest, now immediately saw, “I am confronting him.” He untied the priest and this priest prostrated in front of this bandit and never returned home. And this man - this is a true story - he is known as Bandit Saint. He is known as Bandit Saint still.

So I am just speaking about doubts you see. This doubt is the only thing that gives you trouble, so without doubt if you have straight away this teaching as the story has been told to you, you just listen. Anything if it is even falsely told to you it will materialize. You simply hear the word; it will manifest.

Let the teacher tell you, “You are consciousness.” and you simply hear without doubt – and what's going to happen? You listen from the teacher that you are existence, you are consciousness, you are eternal, you are deathless, you are not the body. What does he tell you that is wrong? But you don't listen to him. What wrong is there? But you have a conviction, “I am suffering, I am born, I have to die because I have listened from my parents, I have listened from my priest. So nothing is going to work.” So it's not good to have any doubt in your mind when you speak about it, you see. And it is so simple not to have doubt - it's so simple. So simple and there is no confusion if you don't entertain doubt that you are what you are. Only this veil is a doubt you see. So this veil, this doubt has become this manifestation and this is your own creation, this is your own creation, you see. And if you don't have this doubt of, “Where is the creation, and who is the creator?” then instantly you will know who you really were and are.

3 July, 1992

Driven by the Beast of Desire

Who feels that we are bound? Let us examine this important subject. When objectivity arises in consciousness it becomes conditioned, limited. This is bondage. When it is abandoned, when you become without objectivity, when there is no object in the mind, you can call this no-mind. No-mind is liberation, freedom, emancipation. There is no difference between No-mind and consciousness.

How is it possible to avoid this object? What is this object? This object arises in our consciousness. Just as a beast, an ox or bull is driven by a herdsman from behind; so craving is driving everybody. When you say, "I enjoy this, I enjoy that." it is not that you are enjoying, but you are driven like a beast by craving. You are driven by this craving from behind and you go to meet the object like a beast. You become a beast of this craving. You say, "I am enjoying, this is my desire." but this is not so. You have been driven and compelled by the object, by your craving. This craving is your herdsmen from behind. You are driven by any kind of desire. Almost all beings belong to this category: men, dogs, all are driven by cravings of this world and also of the next world. They are driven by this craving and therefore they suffer endlessly.

How is it possible to avoid this craving? You have been driven by this object, by this craving, by this desire since time immemorial; you do not remember. You have spent millions of years with this craving but each time you forget. You have spent millions of lifetimes. Where are the cravings, where are the objects, where are those relations of your incarnations prior to this one? You have been behaving in this way many times before. Now this will also disappear and you will begin another manifestation like this one. It is a never ending process.

This world cycle is a never ending. How is it possible to end it? Just by no longer giving rise to this craving. It is the easiest thing and the most difficult also. I say it is the most difficult because we see very few who have been able to do it, therefore there must be some difficulty. I say it is also the most easy, because if a man of reason chooses to be free he has to just get rid of this craving and it will end. So some say it is easy and some say it is difficult. It is difficult for those who are beasts of craving, for those who have attachments, for them it is difficult. But in their final incarnation or in the company of some good person, in contact with a sage, they will understand how to get rid of this craving. Staying near a sage they will come to know. This can be difficult; this can be very easy.

I remember a story. There was a king who learned from his guru how to be free, and he became free. As a king he was free. His wife, the queen, also used to go to the sage and she was also free. They had two sons. The elder also became free but the younger was too young. He had been hearing about the same subject but he could not do it. He was not very much attached. He had lost about fifty percent of his ego but yet he was somewhat attached. One brother was in difficulty, the other had done his work, and both parents had done it.

The king, the father of these two boys, died. The queen was very fond of her husband. She said, "Why should I live here now? We have lived together, why don't I go to this king? I'll give him company." She knew how to dispose of the elements. Our bodies are composed of five elements: earth, water, fire, air, and akash, or space. That is what our body is made of, and that is what is outside of us. Earth, water, fire, air and akash are all outside of us. Just as we borrow some money from our friends and return it, so we have borrowed these elements to fulfill our place. We borrow earth from earth, water from water, fire from fire. This Queen knew the art of disposing of her body and she turned back the loan. That which had been taken from the earth, the earth part of the body, is returned to the earth; the liquid of the body is returned to water, fire to fire, the air that we breath in and out is returned to air, and space to space. So she also disappeared.

This is an art. It belongs to yoga but everybody can practice it; it is not very difficult. Kabir did it recently in his lifetime, and many other people who prefer to disappear in this way have done it. At Kabir's death the Hindus claimed he was a Hindu and wanted to cremate him, and the Muslims said he was a Muslim and wanted to bury him. So they were having a dispute. His body was covered and they went near the body to drag it away and there were only two flowers! His samadhi is near here in UP near Gorakpur; he lived nearby in Magar. So one flower was cremated, the other flower was buried!

Like this the queen departed. The eldest son performed the ceremony which has to be performed for departed parents with great honor and respect. He did not feel any kind of sorrow. "My parents were enlightened. I am also enlightened by my enlightened parents. They are happy. They have gone to the region beyond this concept and I can see where they are." The younger brother was crying and sobbing. His brother was asking, "My dear brother, why are you sobbing? Why? What’s the matter with you?" But he didn't listen. He said, "Your parents were enlightened people. They are not to be born again. You should be happy." The younger brother didn't listen. He said, "You are crying for those who are very happy at this time. And you have had many parents like these your recent parents. You must cry for them also. You have been a tiger, what about your tiger parents? You have been a fish, what about your fish parents? You have been a mosquito, what about your mosquito parents? You have been a tree, what about your tree parents? You must cry for them also. Why don't you cry? I can show you all your millions of parents now, you can see them. I can also show you your recent parents now. I can see them and you don't because you are not an enlightened person. Therefore, you are crying, you are suffering. You will have to suffer."

This boy understood his brother. We can also end bondage if we give up craving for objects. How is it possible to stop this craving? How did this boy do it? How did his parents do it? When the craving arises in consciousness it has to arise from somewhere. "I want this. I want that." is all in-between. When you become an experiencer you want to enjoy objects of experience. To have enjoyment of any object you must first become the experiencer and create an object of experience. These two things must be there: The seer and the seen.

Between the experiencer and the experienced there is experiencing. You are that experiencing alone. You are neither the experiencer nor the object of experience. This is missed. "I am experiencing both the seer and the seen. I am seeing." This you forget. You think, "I am the seer and this is the object of sight." We miss what is in between. If you stay between them in experiencing - this is consciousness. Everyone is having this experience of consciousness always. You will have to question this experience, between experiencer and experienced. What is this which is experiencing which is neither subject nor object? You will have to inquire into this. Or directly ask yourself, "Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?"

Many people have difficulty in understanding this. Every day I receive letters from people who find it difficult to follow this. Not everyone is capable of arriving at this understanding or making this inquiry. It needs some discipline, some ground that has not been fulfilled. It is not possible to be engaged and busy with enjoyment of the senses and fulfilling your cravings on the one hand; and also wanting to be free, wanting to attend satsang, wanting to make this quest for self-knowledge on the other hand. This difficulty exists for those who are not free of running after desires and cravings. It is not possible to have both things at the same time. If you want to enjoy the world nobody is stopping you. The world is there to enjoy, so enjoy it! And if you are already satisfied then return now to your own Self for enjoyment, having enjoyed your own beauty, your own consciousness, your own bliss, you have enjoyed everything. Either this is the time of satisfaction or you run after things. Nobody has ever been satisfied running after these objects. As one object is fulfilled in the mind there are thousands waiting in queue. You have spent millions of years picking up one object after another.

Those people who have found that these cravings cannot be fulfilled are fit for the instruction of the teacher. They come, saying, "Now let me have knowledge." They have come for instruction and it will work. A dull mind which is engaged somewhere else is not listening to the instruction of the teacher and will not get the teaching although the teaching is the same. It is said that those who listen to the teaching, those who come to the teacher, those who have satsang are in their last incarnation. They have tried everything else without finding satisfaction. They could not find it last time so they have returned with only this desire for freedom. When there is only the desire for freedom they will attain freedom. Whatever age they may be they will set off one day to find the teacher, and sitting with the teacher this instruction will drive deep into their heart. They will see that here is wisdom and here is light.

Trouble comes for those who are engaged elsewhere and still say, "We want to be free". This is not going to pay them at all. If you have amritam and cyanide in the same cup it will not work. If you have to take cyanide, take it cleanly and see the result. That is the result that you have always been seeing. Now is the time to taste a drop of amritam, of nectar, of bliss. What is this nectar? It is bliss, it is consciousness, it is existence. Nectar is that which, having tasted it, you get complete satisfaction with no more searching, with no more coming and going. The only trouble is this: You cannot at the same time have enjoyment of the senses and freedom. You will have to decide. Or use up your life and have another life; there is no problem. Each one of us has already lived 8.4 million incarnations to be here today. If this is enough then let us now aspire for freedom and for freedom alone, and let us see what happens.

We are not speaking of any method anymore - you have had enough methods. Certainly no method is going to give you freedom because every method will need body, mind and senses. Whatever you do - whether you travel to holy shrines, to holy rivers, to temples, practice rituals or yoga - you need a body, you need a mind, you need senses. This mind is the root of the problem itself; this mind is samsara. It is a demon 35 million years old . You are walking hand in hand with this friend since time immemorial and you do not know who this fellow is. Still you do not know. Why don't you part company with him just for five minutes and see - see how free you are without mind! We have seen that when all objects are abandoned from consciousness you have no mind. When there is no objectification in consciousness you are immediately free.

For some this is very easy; listening to the instruction of the teacher alone is enough. For some dispassion and effort is advised, dispassion and sadhana is advised. This sadhana is: If you forget yourself, again and again return to This. Again return to This. You will get rid of this mind.

What is the mind? Just one thought is mind. This one thought is manifestation, is 35 million years. Abandonment of this one thought is freedom. So this is very easy or very difficult. When you utter the word ‘I’ it takes you back 35 million years: just the thought of ‘I’. As far back as you go you will find an endless past in this one ‘I’. You will find the future and the present also contained in this ‘I’ thought. This one ‘I’ thought has created millions of people. It has created heaven and hell.

This one thought is also the key to ending past, present and future. It can also liberate you. To abandon this one ‘I’ thought is liberation; to cling to it is bondage. One is easy, other one is difficult. This is your choice and you have to make your choice this instant. You are free from the beginning. Who told you that you are bound? You have chosen to be bound because of craving to enjoy, and you are not satisfied so far. Now let us sit together and help each other to get rid of just this one ‘I’ thought. How can this be called difficult, just to get rid of this ‘I’ thought? Where does it exist? When you search for it or try to see it or touch it or feel it or even conceptualize it, it does not appear. We never look for this ‘I’ thought; we like to be chased by it like a beast.

22 June, 1992

My Meeting with Ramana

Q: Today is Ramana's birthday. I'd like to ask you to say something about Ramana.

Papaji: This is a long story so I will tell you in a short version about my contact with him, and something of what came before also.

Ramana was the son of an advocate. He was studying in a mission school. In his boyhood, one day he was going to school on the day when the fees were due. He had taken money and was going to school to pay his fees. On the way he felt as though he were dying. He lay down on the road on the way to and began to inquire: '"Who is dead? Who is dead? The body is lying here, but I see I am not dead. This body is dead and I am conscious that I am not dead." This was his experience. He found the Eternal Consciousness which never dies. The body may die, like clothes. Worn out clothes are thrown away and you get new ones to be worn again.

It started like this, but then he wanted to find out what it was. There was nobody to speak to him. After this experience he wanted to see what this experience was. He disappeared from the town of his parents. He had heard people speaking of a pilgrimage place called Mount Arunachala. He wanted to go there and he had the fees in his pocket. So he went to the railway station and the money did not cover the whole journey. He told the booking clerk, "Give me a ticket as far as my money goes." He bought a ticket to a place called Tirkalur, 20 miles short of his destination. He was wearing gold earrings, so when he got down at the station he was able to sell them to someone and to complete his journey.

He started meditation to locate what the consciousness was. For years he was not heard of. Sometimes he was going to beg for bicksar. No one knew who this person is. After many years people started going to him. When the light shines everyone is attracted. People from all over the world went to him and stayed. There are still people there. It was a forest on the slopes of this hill, and now it has become an international centre.

Many people were seeing him, many people were going to him, kings and presidents of other countries were going to him. I never knew because he was in the South of India and I was in the North. I was searching for a guru but somehow I didn't like any of them because I found only commercialization.

I went to the Himalayas. I went around to all the well known gurus. I went to Rishikesh, to Uttarpashi, to Tapawanum, to Haridwar. I also went to traditional gurus. I wandered by the bank of Ganga, to Kashipuri. I went down to the desert, down to the South - I went everywhere. Everywhere I went they wanted to initiate me and asked me to do sadhana.

When I had gone and sat with them my question was only, "Can you show me God? Have you seen Him? If you have seen Him, can you show me? What fees do I have to pay you? If you have not seen and you cannot show me, tell me straight forward that you have not seen Him and you cannot show me." But this much nobody dared to tell. They would say, "You have to sit down and do sadhana."

I said, "Why sadhana? When I go to a shop I have money in my pocket, he has the commodity I want. He will not tell me. 'You first meditate in front of the shop then I will give it to you." Nobody will say this. If you have something give it to me and ask me any price, I will pay the price. I will serve you all my life."

But they would only say, "You have to go through a long sadhana." In Rishikesh a man had been doing sadhana for 50 years. He was pointing at me saying, "Look at this man!" Everyone was laughing. "This man is standing in an army dress. ‘Show me God,’ he says." They were mocking me. They were making a joke of me, standing asking them to show me God. "Is not something to be shown. He doesn't go through sadhana; he does not agree with sadhana."

There was one swami in Tapowan. He was very well known and very old, about 88 years old. But then I saw he was having a court case with one very poor sadhu just occupying a thatch hut. He said, "He is occupying my place. He doesn't vacate. I will get an advocate.” He had plenty of land and this was only one man not harming anyone, only mediating alone. He was living there in a place ten feet by ten feet in one corner of the land. The swami wanted to make a wall there. Somehow I didn't like, he wanted to throw this sadhu out. When he has about ten acres of land why doesn't he allow him a space ten feet by ten feet. After all, he is a sadhu. He was bringing an eviction order and all that. I didn't like. I saw so many people like this and I returned back home. Very much disappointed and dejected I returned home. And the money that I had saved I spent already.

One day I was going to take lunch and I saw a man standing outside. I asked him, "If you want to take, come in and take food with me. And if you want monetary help I will help you. If you want food come in." He came in. I asked my mother to bring another plate of food and gave it to him. And then I asked him, "Are you a sannyasin? You must traveling throughout the country. Have you come across any person who is God-realized, who is enlightened and free? Have you seen anyone? If you have, give me the address; I will go to see him." He gave me an address and I noted down for the first time the name of a town called Tiruvanamalai, and he told me how to get there. Then he went away.

I decided not to tell my wife or my parents what had happened. I went out to the town. I had no funds as I had spent everything in my search for a guru and my father would not give me any money. When I was walking in the town an old friend called out to me - we had done physical exercises together. "You have not been seen around here. I heard that you had joined the army and since then we have not seen you." I sat down with him and saw an old Punjab newspaper lying in his shop on the table, the Old Tribune was the name. Immediately my eye went to the wanted advertisements. It was written, they required one ex-army officer to work in our CBI stores to supply army supplies to some British shipment. They were contractors in Pishawar and one unit was going to Madras. I saw a man was advertising for an ex-army officer to serve in Madras. So I applied and they sent me money to cover my first class ticket, and gave me one month's time to report. I said to myself “I've got money now." With that money I went straight in search of Ramana Maharshi's ashram at Arunachala.

I got down at the railway station and booked a bullock cart, which was the local transportation. I went to the ashram, and left all my baggage outside. I was going to start my work in Madras so I had all my bedding with me. I left it outside and went into the hall where a man was sitting. As soon as I saw this man I recognized that it was the same man who had given me the address in Punjab. I became very angry with him. I didn't go to see him. I didn't even enter the hall. I just went to find another cart to go back to the railway station. There was a Parsi man there; his name was Thromji. Later on we became friends. He came to me and said, "You seem to be a North Indian." "Yes, I am," I replied. "Then how is it that you have just arrived and now you are going back?" I told him, "This man is a fraud! He met me just fifteen days ago in Punjab and he gave me his own address that he is a God-realized man." "No, no," he said. It's not possible. You are making a mistake." I said, "How can I make a mistake? I am not mad. He is the same man. I am quite fit, both in body and mind. I cannot make such a mistake. In only fifteen days I cannot forget. He is the same man."

He said, "No. This man has not moved from this place in 50 years. You can ask anyone. Either you have seen someone else and you are mistaking the identity, or this man must have appeared to you through his own power to help you. We have heard of some three or four instances. So come with me, I will introduce you to the manager of this ashram and you can stay in the guest house." So he took me and insisted that I went there, and they give me a place to stay.

Then I went inside. He was not speaking to anybody. Everybody was quiet, but something was going on in this silence. For the first time I saw this happening without talking. Something was there; some vibration was there which was entering into my heart. After about 10 minutes there was a bell for lunch. Maharishi got up, everybody got up - there were maybe 15 or 20 people there - and we all went in the hall to take lunch together. Then Maharshi went back to his hall alone; no one else followed him. After lunch Maharshi took rest, and then people came again in the hall at 2:30. I never knew this rule. So seeing him alone I went in straight away, but as I was going in the attendant stopped me. He said, "You come back at 2:30." Maharshi was looking and he signaled me to come in.

I went inside and asked him, "It was you wasn't it, who saw me and gave me your own address in Punjab?" He kept quiet. "If it was you why didn't you tell me? I wanted to see God. Why you didn't do it there, and why have you called me here? I have come here and you don't speak with me. I do not understand." Still he was silent. I said, "I do not understand your silence. Please speak to me." Still he was silent. Still he was silent, so I was not very happy.

I was in love with Lord Krishna since my boyhood. It was a constant force in my life. So I said, "Ok, this place is very nice, I like this place. This mountain is very beautiful, there are forests, there are monkeys, there are peacocks. I will live here. I will go to the forest and stay there." I went to the forest. I had a month before I had to join my duties and I had used up only five days. So I went to the other side of the hill for some time, knowing I could join my duties later on and knowing I was in a good place.

Then the time came for me to go, so I decided to go and prostrate before him and then to leave. I came to him. He was there again, and once again he was alone. Very few people went to see him, very few. He asked me, "Why didn't you come for so many days?" I was very proud. I said, "I have been playing with my God." "Very good, very well." He said. "You have been playing with God?" "Yes, I was. I have always been." "Do you see him now? Do you see him now?" "Not now," I said. "Not now. When I have vision I see him, sometimes in the night also. When I have vision I see him, not always. That's why I want to see him always."

Then he said, "God does not appear and disappear."

For the first time I heard this: "God is reality itself. God doesn't disappear. He is appearance itself. So what appears and disappears is only mental, is only imagination." I didn't like this philosophy that I was hearing. "The god appeared and disappeared. And the seer is still here, he who has seen god is still here. Find out who the seer is."

I had never been confronted at any time by anyone with this question before. Neither the living saints nor any of the past saints I had heard about could confront you like this, with this question: "Find out who the seer is. Find out who you are. That does not disappear. Always it is there, whether you are awake or dreaming or asleep. This seer is always there. Now you tell me who this seer is."

No answer came for this question but I had an experience to find out the source of ‘I’. It worked it my case. On my first trip to the guru I found it. Actually the seer was always there; the source of ‘I’ was always there. He simply asked me to, "Find out who the seer is." That's what he said. In his presence I experienced the seer, what it was. It was so quick. My body was vibrating and became One. I did not understand this tremendous bliss, this tremendous happiness, this beauty, in just an instant.

This teaching is the ultimate teaching, which I try to present to you every day. I don't think any other teaching is worth striving for except to discover your own Self. Later on, if you need anything else you may go in search of it. Here and now find out who you are. This is the ultimate Reality, this is the ultimate teaching. I don't think any other teaching can surpass this teaching. Know your Self and then know the rest, if it is needed. This false appearance will disappear in the recognition of your own Self. This false appearance will not show up again when the Real is revealed to you. That has no form and no name; That has no geographical location anywhere, neither inside nor outside. This is Eternal Rest. Each of you is already in this. The only impediment is your preoccupation with something else, with something unreal. That is the only hindrance. Otherwise this Freedom, this Wisdom, this Beauty, this Love is always inviting you. You only have to turn your attention within your own Self and you see that you have always been free. This is your own nature.

There is no need to seek, no need to hunt it down anywhere else. It is already here. You only have to abandon the notion that, "I am bound. I am suffering. I am born. I have to die." This is simply a notion that you have entertained somehow, due to your unmindfulness. This will disappear instantly when you want it to, when you need it to, when you desire it, instantly this is here. You do not need to go and search for it - it is not an object to search for. It is your very inner nature. It is very close, closer even than your breath. When something is closer and nearer than the breath what effort do you need to meet it? It is so near, so dear, so intimate to you, but you are lost in fulfilling your desires with those things or people which are not worth making friends with. They appear and disappear - they are not permanent, they are not real. So what is the use of that hunt which is not abiding, which is not living, which is not eternal, which is disturbing? It's not wise to purchase disturbance for nothing. If you are a good buyer you will make a bargain for those things which do not disappear. That will be the real diamond, and having that you will not see your poverty.

I went away to Madras and joined my duty. They gave me a very good bungalow and a car. Every Saturday we had half day of work, and Sunday was a full day off. So I started coming every weekend for a day and a half. Whenever I got holidays I went there for some months. Then the partitioning of India was going to take place and some friends living permanently in the ashram asked me which part of Punjab I belonged to, to the West or East? I said: "West, other side of the river." "Do you know that place is now Pakistan?" I was not reading any papers, nor interested in politics. I never knew anything. He asked me, "What about your family?" I said, "Everybody is in Punjab, in West Punjab. Nobody is in India except myself." He said, "Why don't you go and take care of them?" I said, "No, it's over now; my connection with my family is over. After seeing this man, I have no connection whatsoever with anybody."

He told Maharishi what I had said. So as I was going on my evening walk Maharishi was there with a few people. He asked Maharishi about my situation, that India was going to be partitioned and my family was in Pakistan. Maharishi asked me, "Why don't you go?" And I said, "It was a dream. It was a dream; I had a wife, I had children and I had parents, I have relations. It was a dream. My dream is over now." "Oh, very good if your dream is over. A dream is a dream, so why are you are afraid of a dream? If you know it is a dream go and see the dream then."

I saw he was winning a point and I wouldn't allow it. So I said, "No. Now I am physically attached to you, I have physical attachment. I cannot leave you. I want to stay with you. I'll let anything happen, whatever it is. I can't save anybody."

Then he looked at me and said, "I am with you wherever you are." These are the words in my mind. They helped me even when I left. There was no trouble for any of my family. I brought back them back to Lucknow in August of '47. There was no trouble. There was trouble all around but it was very safe for us. The guru, the master helps everywhere.

All This is Mind

All this is mind. Whatever you see is mind.
A notion arises and that particular object manifests in front of you. This is true of any object: past, present, and future. The whole manifestation is just a notion - objectified mind - nothing else. Unless we are aware of this mind there can be no peace, so we often speak about this. Even your body is a notion of the mind and you call it real. Then you become this object and other relations also become real. No one is willing to take the return journey - back to the beginning, to where the notion arises, because our senses are outgoing.

When a notion arises an object which is manifested is the desire of your own mind and it becomes absolutely real. Even your body is a notion. Let us start with this. If you don't give rise to the notion, "I am the body," there is no body. This body is an object of the mind, a thought in the mind, including the senses and all their activities moving towards different objects of sight, sound, hearing, tasting, and touch. This whole manifestation in front of you is only your notion - actually it doesn't exist. Only when we successfully understand this will you have tremendous peace and eternal happiness. That has always been your fundamental nature.

How did this manifestation arise in the beginning? If you follow the track backwards and discover its source - the place where it is rising from - you might find out for yourself, by yourself, without any effort or thought. There must have been a time when there was no creation and no creator. Everything is rising from that place which you do not know. Everybody wants to be happy, wants to be blissful, wants to be eternal, wants to avoid death; because this is our nature. Death is not our nature. Our nature is eternity - to be free of death and rebirth, of sorrow and suffering. We avoid death, disease, and suffering because this is a natural instinct in everybody. Neither man, nor animals like to suffer. There was a time when there was only peace - this is called shanti. Nothing else was there. Even the creator was not created at that time, let alone the creation. Only by returning there will we find peace, not by sitting in meditations or doing anything else. Here and now we can again try to discover this source, this fountain from where this mind itself and all thought arises.

With this question you will have to go to the root of thought itself. Doing this exercise you do not stir a thought, or mentate, or activate the mind, or make any kind of effort. We speak again and again of this because except in this method you are wasting your time in postponements. It will take you this instant of time to know who you are. It takes this very instant of time.

In this same instant of time the creation began and lived and is destroyed. It is the same instant. And it is the same instant that kept you bound in a never-ending cycle of incarnations of birth and death. This is the same instant. And again it is going to take you the same instant to return home. It is all in this instant. This instant is beyond time. Time is also a notion of the mind. The mind is also a notion, like a wave rising from the ocean.

That ocean of eternal peace is you. What is the difficulty that we suffer from? It is that we seek peace elsewhere and do not experience that we are peace incarnate itself. We do not have to find peace, we do not have not to attain peace. We are peace itself, and perhaps even beyond it.

This does not take time. A few of us have done it here in ourselves. We are happy, and we will be happy if the whole world is happy. This is what we speak of again and again. I am not going to give you any method which will make you waste your time and postpone this project for the next life. Do it here and now. When I tell you that it is this instant why don't you make use of this instant? You will not through any method - not by doing anything nor by doing nothing. Just stay quiet and you will see what the secret has been that you have been missing. The treasure was within you and you were begging.

29 June, 1992

Make the Decision to Be Free!

You have to decide right now to be free once and for all. Everyone who has found freedom in this lifetime has had to make this decision. I don't find see problem for anyone here to be free in this lifetime.

Again and again, I tell stories about people who have found freedom. They have to be repeated because the mind is not ready to listen or accept. Some people only need to be told once by the teacher. A few don't even need to be told: Freedom rises up by itself.

Some people write to me saying that they started the search for freedom at a very young age- seven or eight years old, even two or three! This is the push of karmas of previous lives. Some make the decision later; some never make the decision at all. You can tell them again and again but they don't listen. There are also teachers and beautiful sutras available but they don't make use of them.

We are a very small community here and it's good that there are only a few of us. Some people who come here complain of arrogance, relationship troubles, egotism and greed, asking how to get rid of these things. They will all slowly disappear in satsang. This atmosphere will not allow the mind to live. This is where the death of the mind takes place. The mind cannot survive in satsang, just as a deer cannot face a tiger. These few here must make the decision to be free.

I was only a child when it happened to me. I was still at school and I didn't know anything about freedom. I don't know how or why it happened - I just fell in love with the greatest teacher in the world. My parents and teachers read the same books, my teachers were teaching the same things year after year and weren't personally benefiting at all. I can't explain why. On seeing a picture of Buddha sitting in meditation I fell in love with him, and without knowing anything about him I promised myself to do just as he did. I started sitting whenever I had free time. I didn't even know what I was doing or what it was about. I felt so much love in meditation that I could not escape. In fact it was meditation that fell in love with me, took hold of me at that young age, not me with it. I didn't really know what was going on. I used to get up in the middle of the night and meditate! At the age of 12 or 13 I used to go out begging in the streets, even though I came from a middle class family. People used to come and listen to me speaking, although I didn't know what I was saying. My parents used to worry about me when I got up in the middle of the night and sat on the cold winter ground. This is called satsang - love - this is something that drives you.

You can sit down and close your eyes, but if the mind is running around all over the place it is not meditation. I didn't know what meditation was. I didn't have any intentions. I didn't make a decision to go and sit in a certain position and meditate. Meditation just whispered in my ears, "Get up boy. It is midnight. Get out of bed. Sit down on the ground and meditate". I would like this to happen to everybody. It troubled Buddha. It troubled me and a few others too. Why don't we all get into this trouble?

I don't have any reason to believe a man who complains of ego and other troubles. What does it mean when a man says, "I am troubled by my ego. I have been here for 15 or 20 days and my ego is not disappearing?" Surely it means that he wants something that is not good for him. You have to decide. Discriminate with a cool head. Sit down and decide what is good for you and follow that. Don't listen to anyone else - the whole world is deceiving you. The whole world may be against you so you have to make your own decisions. Don't listen to your parents, your society or your preachers.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There were two teachers of different sects who heard of a sage living in the forest. They both went to him and asked, "Sir, how can we have joy in our lives?" The saint replied "Just keep your bodies healthy. This is the source of joy". Hearing this they both went back to their tribes and started preaching. The first said to his people, "I have been to see a saint. He says you have to enjoy this world. You have to keep your body well: eat, drink and be merry. Enjoy everything to the maximum because this world will not be available to you again". This sect followed this; they ate, drank and were merry; they pampered the body. They are still doing this now - they are still preaching this today: 99% of people belong to this sect, looking after the body with food, sleep and sex.

The other leader also went back to his people and told them the same thing, but they questioned the teaching. However hard they tried to keep the body healthy, it still became sick, and even when the body was healthy, there was still something amiss: the mind was still troubled. So after six months, the leader of this sect went back to the saint to ask if there had been some kind of mistake. This time the saint welcomed him saying, "Very good, my dear boy, now go and look after your mind. Just make sure that the mind is comfortable, that's all".

The leader went back to his people and they tried. But they found that however hard they tried - however much they concentrated or meditated - the mind could not be brought under control. Another six months passed, and again he returned to the saint.

By this time the first leader had still not been back to the saint and has not been back to this very day, after millions of years. Those of his tribe say happily, "I am arrogant. I'm an egoist. I'm in grief, anger, jealousy. I'm a hypocrite..." And they're all very proud of it, even today, millions of years later.

So after six months the second leader returned to the saint and told him that he couldn't keep the mind under control. "Very good, well done," replied the sage. "The mind is very fickle. It is like air. You can't keep it under control. Now, above the mind there is a power called intellect, the power of discrimination. Every man has this power of judgment. Go back and find out what is real and what is not real, then come back and tell me".

Again he went away, he tried, and he came back. "I have been trying with the intellect. I started with the objects of the world which we perceive through the five senses. All these sense objects appear and disappear. Things I saw some time ago have already disappeared. So the intellect is not reliable because it attaches itself to things which vanish and disappear. It loves things which are not eternal, and this does not bring peace, happiness, bliss, or consciousness. I have discovered this about the intellect but still the attention goes out to objects." “Okay Very good," the teacher said again. A teacher will teach you only to the extent that you are ready to receive. Those who are ready see what happens.

The man went away, and started to witness the intellect, the mind, the senses and their objects from somewhere behind them. He said to himself, "Now I've done it. I am the witness of the intellect itself. I can see my decisions very clearly and I can judge whether they are good or bad. I will not cling to the impermanent, to that which is not eternal or to that which does not bring bliss."

Once again he returned to the teacher and asked, "Is there anything deeper than this, anything more precious?" He asked for guidance. Again the saint replied "Leave everything. Get rid of your intellect, mind, ego, body, senses and objects. Have the firm conviction that you are existence, consciousness and bliss itself. Do not use your intellect, your mind or your senses. Just merge into existence, as we are speaking now, and become one with existence. Have the firm conviction 'I am existence, I am consciousness and I am bliss'."

This is as far as a teacher can teach. There is another part to the teaching, however, another secret. This secret is so sacred - it is the secret of all secrets. Nobody knows who holds the key to this secret. I have never heard of anyone going beyond and then returning to the teacher and saying, "I have been beyond and that is the end of the matter." It is fathomless – fathomlessness. None can measure its depth. The oceans, the skies, the planets, the solar system and even the 22 other solar systems with their own suns, moons, planets and stars have all been measured, but this has never been measured. The more you go into it, the more you want to know it. But who goes there? People come here saying, "I am arrogant, I'm an egoist, I have a problem with relationships." Why do they come here? There are books, psychologists and doctors in New York, Washington and California. What brings them to Lucknow?

To know the truth and the truth alone, to know consciousness and consciousness alone: This is satsang.

12 June, 1992