No Effort

You must have come here for freedom, to get rid of sorrow, to get rid of suffering. Life is a repeating cycle of death, disease, and old age; but you can abandon this by simply listening. Listen to me, listen to what I am saying and all is over.

I don't give you any task or any work to do. This is not the Olympics; you don't have to run. This is satsang. No exertion is needed here. Without even needing to think a single thought you can be liberated this moment. If you are not ready in this life you might as well wait a thousand lives. You simply need to listen very carefully. It is very easy for those who are serious, sincere, and devoted to themselves. People who come for tamashia will not get the point.

You have to simply become aware of the movement of the mind, which begins this endless trouble. That something is actually arising out of consciousness is only a concept, and it is this which gives rise to the myth of an individual identity. How much time does it take for the mind to arise or for it to be stopped? One movement of thought causes this endless creation to appear, complete with its creators, preservers, and destroyers. If the mind is checked it is all over. But it is not going to end on its own. If it were real it could end, but because it is only a notion it will end only if you see the source of the notion as it is arising. The idea that, "I am so-and-so" and "You are so-and-so" is the movement of the mind. "I am" is the first movement of the mind; and from here arises the trouble.

When you get up in the morning you feel rested and happy. There is a movement in consciousness and you call this the waking state. The world appears to you with its mountains, rivers, forests, people, birds and animals, and you call it waking up. The same thing happens at night in dreams. There are no objects to experience, but even in sleep the mind is not quiet; it creates another world. Who is responsible for that creation? Who? You cannot say God, or the Creator, or any other person. It is you who are sleeping comfortably, but you cannot rest even in sleep and so you create another world within yourself. You see mountains, rivers, elephants, tigers, although they are not there in your apartment - you are alone. Neither are there objects nor is there any subject. Only the ego is projecting its own world.

Just like the chicks return in the evening under the wings of the mother hen the ego says, “Keep quiet.” Because of ego, darkness, next morning they will jump out of the wings of again the same thing, you see. The mind is exhausted from the transactions of subject-object relationship. Give it a little rest.

Transcending these three states you will find another state where you have peace. Few people know this peaceful state of consciousness, of happiness, of bliss, of existence. Even beyond this turiya there is yet another state which a few rare ones reach and return to speak about it. In this discovery everything ends - from here all also starts. This is the substratum which has always been concealed by thoughts, from where they arise. This supreme state of consciousness is concealed by conceptual understanding itself.

If I show you a handkerchief you will see its form, its length, width, thickness, its uses, and its name – “handkerchief.” You will not see the cotton from which it is made; you will not call it "cotton." If I show you this kerchief even - this is a kerchief - length, width, height, its uses, name is “kerchief”. Form is this you see, but you know the cotton you can't see. Cotton is not seen. No one can say it's cotton… kerchief! If you remove the name and form you will see the cotton.

If you remove the name and form, all that you see here and now - whatever you see - remove the name and form. You are in that state beyond the fourth which I described, you see. It will appear itself. It is here. That's not to be gained, it is already there. Because you are already otherwise engaged in your fantasies you have no time to look. What is concealed? You only give importance to what is seen. Importance to form and your notions, you see.

So, if you check your notion - one word - if you check your notion and intention simply for that reason. Don't allow any notion to arise or any intention in the mind, you see, for just this instant of time. What's going to happen? So this is one word. How to do it? Not to give rise. You must ask me question, why? How to do it? How not to give rise to this movement at all, you see.

So this can be done when you make inquiry… when you make inquiry into this process of movement. What is the movement going on? That's all you have got to do it. And this inquiry is enough instruction from someone, and this is enough to listen from someone. That's all you have to do as a student, and this is enough for the teacher to speak, and there's nothing beyond this to speak, and nothing beyond this to listen either. What else can you read in any book if you don't listen to this? That, I have to inquire into the movement of the mind itself - strike at the root of the mind. If you see a mango tree in the seed you don't see leaves nor the fruits but in the seed, in the small seed of a tree there are leaves, there are branches, there are flowers, there are fruits that you can't see, you see. So to see this you have to inquire. This is the minutest of the minute; may it take a millionth part of the tip of your hair. That's what is said. The millionth part of the tip so minute, so subtle it is. And only how will you reach it? You can't see with your eyes, you can't touch with your hands. Only by inquiry you are going to reach the most subtle place and it is reaching you there. Inquire.

This inquiry is not going to end. This inquiry is not going to end unless this subject who is inquiring is itself consumed into the inquiry. First let the inquirer consume itself into the inquiry itself, and then the inquiry will be consumed into that which has not yet been described - and you are that. Not that you are going to become something else at some other time. No, you are already that. You're not going to gain anything. Not going to gain anything, not to achieve anything, not to learn anything. If you get rid of all that you have learned till now, heard till now, read till now, seen till now, what's left? All what you've acquired is only hearsay. You have borrowed… you have borrowed from someone else. It's not your nature; it's not your true Self. You will return to your own Self and nobody knows what the Self is. You attribute Self to some particular form or name that can be seen, smelt, touched or heard about which cannot be seen or touched, that I am going to refer. So, how to do it? Simply inquire into the nature of what is seen, what this universe is, and what its origin.

Its origin is not other than your own notion because you have become first, "I am so and so," and then there is the world. There are relations and this is the world, and it's your notion. Now if you find out the substratum of the notion, the source of the notion, and how to do it? By simply inquiring, "What is the source of the notion?" Simply look down - there's no other way. You don't need do anything. Simply keep quiet and don't think. That's all. You have not to do anything.

You have not seen this moment of quietness for the last millions of years - you have never been quiet. And we are going to speak of this quietness which is your nature and which is the substratum of everything that is seen. Without this we cannot have rest. And this is what is called Freedom, Enlightenment, Wisdom, Existence-Consciousness-Bliss, satyam-shivam-sundaram, whatsoever you call it - and yet it has no name. Yet it has no name - not even consciousness. It is so empty of even emptiness how can you describe it?

When you see a star, you can see a star because of the skies. You can't see a star without the background of sky. When you see the universe there must be something – consciousness - which compels you to see the universe. When you see your own body there must be consciousness through which you have experience of your body. What is this consciousness? You have never before thought of it. What is the basis that you see? Even to start with your body, how this body is seen? There must be some basis through which you are aware. There must be some substratum, some source through which you are experiencing the body itself. What is that?

If you keep quiet, then only you will know it; not with the moving of the mind. If you move the mind there is body, and if you move the mind to know the cause, the source of the body, you multiply it. So, how to do it? By not doing anything; not thinking anything. Just imagine if you do not think - just to see the source of the body you have not to think. What is the source now? You are multiplying only. So if you understand this thing, even if you understand you miss it. You have not to understand it. If you understand you are thinking, still you are thinking. So free. You have to be so free not even to put activity to even your understanding - so free. No one has seen this freedom before.

You will really enjoy whatever you do in the world. I don't advise you to run away from your activity. May you be active, whatever you are doing already 200% better than other people are doing. Other people will be suffering.

You can't pay attention if relaxed like this. You have to pay absolute attention. Some say, "I'll just find out what has been spoken. I'll just go back to the hotel and find out." That will not do, you see. What's the use of the rain when the crop is dried up. It's no use. This moment is very important. You can after all… you need only one, this instant is needed; and if this instant you can't be quiet what's the use of coming here? Some, if not now, after all you have to get only one word today, now, today, tomorrow, day after. Everyday, same thing I am saying because you have to get at it some word, someday - now. You have to get one word. It will ignite like explosive. It will ignite. Because you are not listening, not paying attention therefore it's not working. It has to work, it has to work. How much time does it take to burn? Instantly, instantly it has to burn. Like that you have to ready, when the satsang is there you must be very ready.

Come, come - be ignited like camphor! This word, this instruction is fire - let it ignite your heart like camphor and destroy your darkness! If a room has been shut up for twenty or thirty years and you switch on the light the darkness in the room will not say, "I will depart slowly. I have been here for thirty years." When you switch the light on there is light immediately; the darkness will not linger simply because she has been there for thirty years. You may have lived in darkness for thirty five million years, but one click of the switch can switch on the light and instantly destroy the whole forest of ignorance. This is the power of the teacher: to remove ignorance instantly. If the fire does not burn the camphor something is wrong somewhere. Either the fire is not fire or the camphor is a stone. If it does not react instantly something is wrong somewhere. You will feel the presence of a true teacher - he will ignite your heart.

24 August, 1992

You Have Postponed Long Enough

The abode of Peace, Consciousness, and Bliss is here. You are only required to have a firm conviction. Just as you have a firm conviction that, "I am the body and this is mine." so half of that conviction given to knowing, "I am consciousness, I am peace." will do.

There are six ways, I think, through which you can attain freedom. What we speak of here is a very direct way: It is called Brahma vidya - direct awakening. There are also other ways, like pranayama, there is yoga; there is kundalini; and there is also bhakti yoga. All these methods are useful. Whatever is suitable to you - whatever you like - you can succeed with. What we mostly speak here is Brahma vidya, direct awakening through vichar - reason. We look objectively at how to arrive at purusha, the absolute truth which is one without a second, unchanging.

Whatever changes is not real. Starting with the body it changes, from childhood to youth to old age to death it changes. Even the whole world changes with earthquakes, with cyclones. The world which was here a hundred years ago or a thousand years ago is not now. Even money changes, and whatever changes is not the truth. The mind is also changing. Sometimes it is peaceful, sometimes it is restless. The states that you pass through every day also change. We have a firm belief that what we see in the waking state is real. This reality disappears in the dream state. Both waking and dreaming disappear in the sleep state, and sleep also disappears in the next waking state. What is alternating is not real. This is a fact.

Whenever there is a change there must be an underlying substratum which does not change, on which these changes are taking place. When you see a clay jar, instantly you have a consciousness of earth. When you see a ring, instantly you are conscious of gold. When you see a table, instantly you are aware that it is a wood. Like this there must be some substratum which has taken a different shape and a different name. Whatever changes has a substratum.

Whatever you can objectify and externalize, do it. Finally you will reach the body itself. Whatever you see must be external to you. If you see the body it is external, and something must be internal - something must be inner. That is why you can see things; because whatever you see must be external, must be an object. Even in a dream everything is external to you. There are mountains, there are rivers, men, trees; all are external to you. The sleeping man is not affected by the dream, he is only seeing.

So now we are advised to discover the changeless on which these changes are taking place. How is this to be done? By rejecting. Whatever changes, reject it. Sit down coolly for some time and see. Whatever you see, whatever you perceive or conceive or feel can be rejected. Something will be left which you cannot reject. That is the permanent abode of existence, consciousness, bliss and freedom. This can be done instantly or this may take ages.

Centuries ago people used to go and leave their homes. Kings would renounce their kingdoms and go to the forest for freedom, for penance. Many people left. Whenever the question of freedom arose instantly the thought came, "Let me go to forest, let me go to the mountains." That has nothing to do with it. That is only running away from your own Self. The things that trouble you will go along with you. Whatever is troublesome here will also trouble you in the mountains. How is that to be renounced? You will have to decide now to sit quiet, coolly, wherever you are - in the thick of a crowd, at work, at home - it doesn't matter.

You want to postpone this and you have done it before. We have become experts at postponement, which is why we are here after 35 million years once again. We have traveled already for 35 million years, and now we have enough experience. How are we going to put an end to this? Stay a while. Keep quiet and see what is rising within yourself. What is rising in your mind, and who is perceiving this rise? Find out what is arising and go to the source from where it is arising. That is all you have to do. Those who can understand this have done it very well. Every day you see it here. The old days are over where you were advised to go to the forest. And teachers were very hard; they would not tell you anything unless they tested you. Teachers were very hard then. They would not show you the diamond so easily.

Just a hundred years ago there was a king who heard of a saint living in his own kingdom. The king was very restless inside and wanted peace of mind, so he decided to go and see this saint. Because he was a king he had to go with lots of presents loaded on elephants. His queens also accompanied him, also his ministers and security forces. The King was going to see a saint. The saint was living in a very poor hermitage with thatched huts and a few disciples were living with him. The king arrived and asked one of the disciples of the saint to pass on a message. "Inform him that the king of this country has come to pay his respects. Can he come out of his hut?" The disciple went inside to ask. "The king is here and he is standing outside with his queens and ministers and presents."

The saint said to this, "Tell the king to unload everything under the tree and wait. I will tell him when I am free and I will see him." So everything was kept under the tree, and the saint told his disciples, "Give him two meals a day, just as they are cooked in this ashram. Give him lunch and dinner, that's all."

So the king and the queens and the minister waited till night. Still there was no order. So the king said, "We have to run the government." He sent the ministers and queens back. He said, "I will stay alone. I will have the darshan of the saint and only then will I return."

That night passed. Days passed. He stayed for fifteen days with only his food under the tree. Again he asked, "I've waited here for fifteen days. Go and ask the saint if I may see him now." The reply came, "You will have to wait for another three days." He waited for another three days. "Now again three days have passed," he said. "Now wait for another day," he was told. Another day passed. After that day he sent a man telling him, "Go and find out, when can I see him."

"Just one hour," came the reply. One hour passed. Then he said, "When should I see him?" "After five minutes," he was told. "After five minutes," cried the king. "After five minutes! Five minutes is too much to wait! I cannot wait! I cannot wait!" And he rushed in immediately without asking anyone's permission and he prostrated.

It was his arrogance; it was his ego that took time. The saint was sitting in a thatched hut with no door; he could go in at any time. Who stopped him? His arrogance saying, "I am a king," was all that was in the way. What stops you from returning to your consciousness? It is only your arrogance, your ego, the idea that, "I am the body." This is your kingdom. You are enthroned in this kingdom and all your vasanas are your queens, and "this" and "that" are your ministers.

So when you are ready, wherever you are, without asking anyone's permission; find out where this purusha is, where this abode is, where your own abode of rest is. Whenever you conceive of the body there must be some concealing substratum underneath, through which you are able to imagine that there is a body. Before the concept of the body there must be something changeless concealed underneath from where this wave is arising that, "I am the body." How do you miss it? Like the king you are spending millions of years and no one stops you. Just now - rush in.

In previous times you had to go to the Himalayas for forty, fifty or sixty years in your old age, and even then you might not find truth. After leaving the palace the Buddha also went to many places. He saw many very hard and difficult penances. In some ashrams he saw people tying their feet to the trees and hanging head down, performing penance. Buddha asked what was going on and they told him, "We want freedom!" They were hanging like monkeys! This kind of practice is being practiced even now wherever you go. In any ashram you go to the teacher will prescribe you to sit down in this particular posture with the spine in a straight line, and to think of this. If you are really serious abut this you do not have to wait. Your abode is within you - nearer than your own breath, nearer even than where the breath rises from, it is behind the retina. So very near, and still we have been postponing this for millions of years. Whose fault is this?

We are playing like children on the beach making sand houses, forgetting to return home. The high tide comes and sweeps everything away while you are sleeping. The high tide has to come. Before this high tide comes return home. Your mother is waiting for you, and you are busy with your sand houses.

18 August, 1992

The Conditions for Freedom

What are the conditions or requirements that are needed for freedom or enlightenment? Truly speaking, there are no hard and fast rules or conditions that you have to be fulfilled to be free. But I will cite one example of a king.

When the question of enlightenment comes I do not know why kings are always mentioned. We have heard that in ancient times enlightenment was won only by kings and not by workers. Vaishista was a king, Vishwamitra was a king, Yagnavalka was a king, Gyanasruti was a king, Buddha was a prince. There may be something in this because they have fulfilled their vasanas and desires. Perhaps those who have not done enough to fulfill their vasanas cannot renounce; they are addicted to vasanas. Therefore we always hear that kings have won freedom: Janaka was a king, Dasaratha was a king, Rama was a king, Krishna was a king. It can be won by everyone but the story goes in favor of the kings.

There was a king who spoke to his wife, "My hairs are getting gray now." In ancient times, when people were seeing gray hairs on their head they rejected everything and went to the forest or to some rishi's ashram to sit with him and to be free. This king was very much attached to his wife, she to him. But on this morning he said, "My dear queen, I will leave you now." "Why are you going to leave me?" She asked, "You told me that there is nothing else more beautiful than me. Didn't you say that?" "Yes I did," the king replied. "Then why should you leave me now?"

And he said, "My dear queen, my beloved one, my dear one, there is something else that I cannot attain here with you on the throne. So I leave you and I go." He did not listen to the queen's beseeching.

The queen said, "I can teach you knowledge. I know that which you want to learn and I can teach you. I did not speak on this matter until now because the time was not ripe. You were young, you had vasanas, and the time had not come; but now I can teach you."

Still the king did not listen. He said, "What you can teach? What is a woman going to teach me? I am going now. Here are the ministers who are very able. They will help you in government. Here are the treasures. I am giving you everything. I will go now."

This queen had been going to satsang since childhood in her parents’ house, and she was enlightened. But the king was not in a suitable condition to listen to her instruction. It is most important that you be in very good shape to be benefited by satsang. He didn't listen. He walked out and went away and disappeared into the forest. The queen had also learned yoga, so she sat in samadhi and her subtle body went all over the place to find out where the king was sitting in meditation looking for freedom. And she saw him living and meditating in a thatched hut. So the queen thought, "This is the right time for me to teach."

She disappeared in the night and went in the disguise of a young sadhu - dressed up as a sadhu, as a man. She declared that she belonged to Vaikunth Loka. "I have come because you have rejected everything," she said. "I have come because you are a very serious seeker of truth and I will teach you." He was very happy. He prostrated before the sadhu and welcomed him, saying that this was the time he needed a teacher. So every night she would disappear from the palace and go and teach. The sadhu told a whole story to him, how he was the king of a certain country, he had a queen and everything but he rejected everything.

The sadhu told the king, "Your renunciation is not yet complete because what has to be renounced is not yet renounced. You renounced your palace but instead here is a thatched hut. There's no difference between a palace and a thatched hut. You have the same attachment now with the thatched hut. Instead of your royal robes you are now wearing this soiled robe of a renunciate." The king left the hut and threw off his robe, so he was standing nude.

"Now is my renunciation complete?" "Not yet, not yet. Still you are attached to something, and with attachment, freedom is not possible." "Only the body is left," said the king. "Only my body is there, so I am going to throw my body into the fire." "Wait," said the sadhu. "Wait. What harm has this poor body done to you? You do not need to throw it away. Perhaps through this body you can attain freedom. This body is inert. Why do you want to throw it away? This is a beautiful chance for you to work through this body. Something else has to be renounced, not the body. Even in your sleep you have no body, still you are not enlightened and you are not free. During sleep you do not see anybody, yet you are not free. Even at death your body is cremated, yet you are not free. You have to renounce that which has to be renounced."

The king did not understand what has to be renounced. "You have to renounce that through which you are renouncing everything, and through which you think that you are going to have emancipation and wisdom. That has to be renounced. What is that? Mind. The mind has to be renounced. You did not do it when you were in the palace and also here you cannot do without it. You have not won freedom living in the palace and also here you are still bound. Until you renounce mind you cannot be free."

The king agreed to do this, but how to do it? How is it possible to renounce the mind? He did not know how to renounce the mind. So the sadhu taught him. Every night this young sadhu appeared before him, spent the whole night, and then flew back to the palace in the morning to attend to the affairs of the court and the king. She had a very active day and also a very active night. At night she was a guru; in the day she was a queen.

She told him what has to be done. She told him to sit quiet and she told him how to get rid of this mind. "The mind is a vasana - a desire. Whose desire? My desire. This mind is just a thought. The prime thought, the first thought, is only the ‘I’ thought. There is no difference between ‘I’ and mind. "I," ego, and mind are all the same thing. So how is it possible to get rid of this ‘I’? The king said, "How could I get rid of this ‘I’?”

In everything - in anything that you do - the ‘I’ is always maintained. Therefore there is no possibility of success. No one can win freedom, whether he be in an ashram or working by himself alone on the heights of the Himalayan mountains. The ‘I’ is still maintained. “I am meditating. I am performing pilgrimages. I am doing all these things. I am chanting such-and-such a formula.” The ‘I’ is still there. Unless this ‘I’ is killed there is no use of any sadana that you do."

This young sadhu now told this yogi, "I will tell you a way how to get rid of this mind in the shape of 'I.' Find out where this 'I' is rising from. Question yourself, 'Where is this 'I' rising from?'" "It is very difficult to find," said the king. "It is very difficult because I have never heard about this before. No one ever told me about it. No one ever asked me to question where this 'I' is rising from."

We are working with this question here every day. Some say that it is very difficult, that they don't get it, they don't understand. A few are able to do it for some time, and I am glad. But again, after a week or so they say that the old tendencies come back. The whole-hearted jignasa - the fire of desire for freedom that is needed - is not there. It's only for fun's sake, reading some books and hearing from so-called teachers, going to so-called centers in the world which teach freedom. People are attracted there and sit with a teacher who doesn't know himself - he is not free himself. He doesn't belong to the tradition of gurus; neither did he have a guru, so he has no right to speak on gyana - knowledge. You have to see the lineage of the guru, to which lineage does the teacher belong? Otherwise you are misled, misguided and lost forever.

Do not waste your life this time, this human incarnation. It is very difficult to maintain the desire for freedom in human life. Most human beings are just two-legged animals, two-legged beasts interested only in sex, food and sleep. This is what animals and man have in common: food, sex and sleep. The only difference between animals and man is that we have the option, we have discrimination, to utilize this blessed human temple of God for the sake of freedom. We have had better sex as a pig. We have had better food as a wolf. If you overeat you have to go to the doctor in the evening. We don't even have the stamina to eat that a wolf does. And animals sleep much better that we do. Man has to use sleeping pills and other drugs to be able to sleep.

Coming back to the story, the king was slowly learned from the young sadhu and he came to know the Truth. He said, "Respected guru, I prostrate before for you. I searched, I have found the place where this 'I' is rising from, and I don't see anything there."

This is the experience of everyone who comes and sits in front at satsang. Yesterday I received a letter from a girl was here and has now gone back to Holland. She wanted some clarification. "I learned, and I am practicing here also, but I don't find anything. I don't find anything. I don't see anything. I just see that I am very happy in this moment. Is this the right state or is there any mistake in this?"

Those who have this experience have to stay a little longer so that they do not forget it. Why not finish up the whole thing here and now? It doesn't take time. You have come for this purpose and I am very happy that we are here to share our experiences with each other. We have to make sure that we are all happy so that we can go back home and help our friends also. In this way this will spread through the whole world like a wild fire. This is the right time. I am seeing the result. One single person who goes from here is quite enough.

This king told the sadhu, "I am very happy about what has occurred, but what is freedom? What was this idea of freedom?" The sadhu replied, "You have entertained a concept that you were bound. You were bound so you wanted to be free. This is the direct path to freedom where this concept of bondage has now vanished. When the concept of bondage has vanished the concept of freedom also goes. While walking barefoot in the forest we may be pricked by a thorn in the foot. So we try to take another thorn to take the first thorn out, and then we throw both of them away. In the same way, bondage is only a concept. To remove this thorn we need another concept of freedom. When the time comes that both the thorns are thrown away we do not know anything, we do not know what happened. Now you will have to put all your strength to not be recalled by habits which are millions of years old. These old habits are also a concept. Where do the habits go when you sleep? Then there are no old habits and no new habits either. There is no bondage and also there is no freedom."

The king was staying in this state and the sadhu was still waiting with him. One week passed in this state and he was absolute blissful, in a stateless state. So the sadhu came and asked him, "What more do you want? What more do you need? This is freedom. Remain as this wherever you are, even sitting in the palace with your queen. Isn't this possible?"

"I was very attached to my queen, and these attachments could not have helped me," the king replied. "Therefore I had to reject them all. I do not know if she could have taught me. She was a stupid woman and said she could teach me knowledge. It's a good thing that it was my good karma to be blessed by you, my satguru." Then he prostrated again and again; he went around the sadhu many times. The queen said to herself, "He's all right now." and removed her disguise. She removed the appearance of sadhu and became his queen and prostrated before the king. "Let us return to our palace," she said. The king wondered to himself, "Why I didn't listen to you then?" He decided it didn't matter. The king and queen were both enlightened and in constant satsang.

Yesterday someone asked about harmonious life. A question arose in my house about the harmonious life between a wife and husband, and we had a discussion about this over lunch. Everyone is living in great fear. A harmonious life means living together in wisdom, understanding our relationship with our partners, with our friends, with our relations. This can be called a harmonious life. We are here from all over the world. Could there be any better bond of love between all of us? People are living here as more than brothers with brothers, and sister with sisters, and parents with parents. What better harmonious life could there be than satsang? A harmonious life is only when both of… when all of us have the same enterprise, the same thing, the same path, the same goal. When we are always speaking about that: This is going to be a harmonious life. There can be no other harmonious life in the world than sitting in satsang, in great love with each other.

To be prepared for satsang we have to be willing to reject all our past vasanas. We know that our vasanas are finished because this desire for freedom will come only once in a cycle. Not once in a life, once in a cycle; which means 35 million years. Only then will this desire for freedom arise; and whenever it comes make the best of it. Sit down wherever you are so that this moment is not gone. Immediately, this is the right time to win freedom. Do not postpone for the next moment or for the next day. This is the right time - when this desire arises - not that you read it in a book, not that you were told to come, not that someone said, "I will give you enlightenment." not that it was imposed on you. It has to come on its own. It has to come from within. The wave has to rise from the ocean, not from the desert. If it does come from the desert it is something else and not actually the wave. Whenever this desire for freedom comes, sit down where you are and keep quiet. This is the right time.

21 July, 1992

Consciousnes

You have heard the word Consciousness. When a finger is pointing to the moon, you see the moon. When you hear this word – consciousness - where is it pointing to? The finger pointing to the moon shows you the moon. Now the word ‘consciousness’ is used pointing to something. After having heard this word what do you see? What do you perceive? Who are you?

You are always consciousness: You have been, you are, and you always will be. Where is the difficulty in accepting the truth and what is real? Who told you that you are ignorant? Where did this ignorance arise from in the first place? Again and again you have affirmed, "I am ignorant, I am ignorant, I am ignorant." and then we suffer. With the repeated affirmation, "I am bound." and "I suffer." this universe is created with endless suffering, incarnation, reincarnation, and endless birth and death. Somehow this cycle has started. Who is responsible for it? It is only your affirmation that this is real, this ignorance is real, this snake is real. There arises the fear; this snake has concealed the reality of the rope.

How is it possible to remove the concept of the snake? Who will remove this doubt? Now you cannot see the rope because you are attached to the idea of the snake. But there was never any snake. In the same way, you cannot see consciousness because you are attached to the imposition of ignorance. There was never any ignorance; you are consciousness itself. The snake will be removed by reasoning, not by sitting near it and meditating. Meditation will not remove the snake. You will have to see through reason that the snake is not moving. You are in shock, you are suffering, you are trying to pick up a stone or stick to beat the snake with; that is how you are engaged here. You have not used reason, and this is called ignorance. Move towards it, look at it carefully, or listen to someone coming from the other side who tells you that this is not a snake; it is just a piece of string lying here. He had not seen the snake, so on hearing his words the snake vanished because it never existed. There was only a rope underneath; through ignorance you took it to be a snake.

In the same way, through lack of reasoning you have accepted your affirmations that "This samsara is real." and "I am bound." It may never have existed at all. Sit down quietly and reason it out. Through this reasoning you will find out who has concealed consciousness and created ignorance. Or listening to someone who knows it was a rope can remove your doubt. On hearing this once from a responsible person the snake will disappear and you will see that it was a rope, that "I am consciousness." Now as I say the word ‘consciousness,’ put it to the test stone and see if this word is correct. Go near and see if ignorance is real or not. Only then will you know that you are consciousness and Truth itself. You are satyam, shivam, sundaram.

You have been told from the very beginning that ignorance exists, and now this has become a reality. This ignorance does not exist at all. When you sit quietly where is the ignorance? Somehow we have accepted it, so the question now is how to remove this ignorance. When you add wood to a fire it becomes fire and burns completely, so that there is no more wood left. And when all the wood has become fire, when there is no more fuel, the fire also goes out. What is the fire that will remove ignorance and return you back to your own status, to your own abode, to atman, to Brahman?

There is really no name for your original nature but we have to converse. I say the word ‘consciousness.’ It is perhaps a finger pointing to the moon, but the finger is not the moon. It is only pointing to the moon because you can't see the moon. Someone who has seen it points his finger. If you cling to the finger you can't see the moon. Most people cling to what they have learnt, they cling to a teaching and start meditating. They become so interested in the means that they forget why the means was needed - the finger was needed only to see the moon. Meditation is a finger pointing to freedom. But everybody got attached, and now different societies are running meditation and nobody speaks about enlightenment.

The only fire which can burn everything is the fire of inquiry. Any practice which you perform is with the mind, and the result will be only mental. The trouble is with the mind, so we must find out how to get rid of the mind itself. The whole creation of past, present, future, hell, heaven, creator, preservation and destruction is just mind. The mind is simply a thought. There is no difference between a thought and the mind.

There is one prime thought that becomes the mind, that becomes the ego, body, senses, manifestation and time. All these millions of universes are hanging like dust particles in one thought. Give rise to the thought - 'I' - and everything arises. In this one thought exists the past, present, millions of universes, hells and heavens, and gods and creators, preservers and destroyers. How can this 'I' be arrested? If this 'I' ceases, everything ceases. When 'I' arises, everything arises in front of you. Now everything has arisen because you use the word 'I', but when there is no 'I' there is nothing.

When you enter into the deep sleep state without even any dreams you do not see any object, you do not see any subject, you do not see any manifestation - no creator nor creation. This is a dull state because there is no awareness at all so you may not recognize it. In deep sleep you forget yourself completely. There is no body, there are no senses, there are no objects. Nothing is there because there is no 'I' thought there. When you wake up in the morning the first thought to arise is the thought 'I'. You think, "I am so-and-so", and instantly the whole world arises before you. How is this thought to be checked?

There is a fire in this inquiry; if you simply inquire, "Who am I?” This is a fire which will burn everything: all the modifications of the mind, past, present and future. Just these three words: "Who....am....I.....?" are a fire which will burn everything, as the fire we talked of earlier. After having burnt past, present, and future, they will also burn the memory. And this inquiry will also be burnt as wood burns completely in a fire. The 'I' thought which went to inquire into its own nature is no longer to be found, and in this your true nature is revealed.

This inquiry can be conducted in this very instant. It is not a long procedure, it is not a practice. You do not have to do anything for this inquiry. You simply need to investigate, to inquire without thinking about anything and without performing any kind of practice. No effort or thought is involved. This is the inquiry that I speak about: to find out what this 'I' is which has created this manifestation. After having made this inquiry, keep quiet. If you do not think, and do not make any kind of effort that which you have never heard described, that which cannot be achieved or attained will reveal itself. It will reveal itself once you have conducted this inquiry and given up all kinds of thought and effort.

This auspiciousness is your own swarupam, your own Self, your own atman, your own Brahman. It is that which is everywhere. This is very simple for those who can hear innocently, without working the thinking process and the memory. You can postpone this, but sooner or later you will have to return home; and whenever this happens it will be this very second. You can postpone this second endlessly and endless universes will arise. It is up to you. Decide now. You can end it in this very second or you can create more universes. This very second is out of time because 'I' is time, mind is time. When you inquire into this 'I' it is gone. What happens is a revelation which does not take place in time at all. It transcends time, ego and everything.

Simply keep quiet and do not do anything at all.

17 July, 1992

Turn the Mind to Face its Source

When your mind is not clinging to any object, to any person or idea, its face is turned towards its Source.

This is very simple. Millions of books about enlightenment and freedom have been written and are available in the world, and what is the result? People have been working for enlightenment, freedom, liberation, emancipation, moksham, since thousands of years. What is the result? Everything that you do, everything that you have been told to do, it is with the mind. When you read a book you are reading with the mind. When you are meditating you are meditating with the mind. When you are doing anything you are always doing it with the mind. This is why there is no result.

Distract the mind immediately from any object, person, or idea. It is that simple. Then the face of the mind is turned towards its source for the first time, and a reflection from somewhere un-told, un-described will fall on this mind which is not dwelling on the past. All objects, ideas, and people belong to the past. Now for the first time the mind has been directed towards its own native place, its own abode.

With the reflection of beyond it loses its entity as the mind. It becomes no-mind now. It is satyam - truth, shivam, and sundaram. Other than this I am not aware of any other process by which you could be free. If you have any ideas, any attachments to anything - including your own body, your mind, your intellect or anything else - how could you be free? Just by giving rise to one thought of the mind - the ‘I’ thought - and there is instantly past, present, future, manifestation, suffering and a cycle of incarnations, never ending reincarnations.

If you so choose, if you so desire, it can be put to an end right now. But you have not taken that decision so far. You have been postponing this decision and passing through millions of births, taking millions of years and this decision still is waiting. I do not know what you are looking for or why you are afraid to return to your own native place, to the abode of all auspiciousness, happiness, love, and beauty. Why are you shirking your responsibilities?

9 July, 1992

Doubt

Let us speak together about doubt. I tell you when attending satsang, not to bring doubt along with you. I receive many letters describing beautiful experiences, but they all end with: "Am I on the right path?" Also the people who leave here begin to experience doubts.

It is like someone going to dig rubies in the river in Bihar State, where rubies are found. A man finds a ruby on the sand at the riverside but he throws it away. He doubts his luck, "How can I find it so easily?" he says, so he throws it back in the river. "People around me are digging for 150 feet and they still have not found anything, so I will throw it away." He doubts, "Is it a ruby or a piece of glass?"

Doubt is the only thing that is troublesome. The books of knowledge give you the highest teaching directly, only doubt stands between you and that teaching. Since time immemorial they have been passing this ancient teaching from chest to chest that "You are That." The teaching was coming directly, only doubt exists between you and That. Secondly it is taught that "I am Brahman." and thirdly "All this what I see, feel, hear, touch and taste is all myself." But doubt is in the way so that we don't believe.

It is true of all the teachings: if we listen without doubt one word is quite enough. When you come to satsang do not entertain doubt by questioning, "Is it going to happen to me?" Do not use the intellect as a test stone, because it will not give you the correct indication of gold. Throw it away. But many are not ready to do that so they will not get the point. They will take this teaching and continue to suffer endlessly, for immeasurable time. Your suffering will not end unless you remove this doubt from within you.

Somehow, since my childhood I have not carried any doubt. I didn't have doubt, I had never heard of doubt, because my first teacher was my own mother. Whatever she told me instantly happened to me. I was a child and I never knew or heard about doubt. I got it instantly. She used to tell me stories and they manifested in front of me instantly because I had no doubt whether this reality or not. Usually when you hear a story you entertain doubts. I tell you stories here as the mothers tell stories to their children, but they are not really stories. This is truth in an essence, in simple words, spoken in story form.

I will tell you a story about doubt which I have heard from my mother when I was six or seven years old. In ancient times people used to go to satsang early in the morning, at four in the morning, before going to their business or office. In my own town in Pakistan there was a bank manager. He used to conduct satsang in his own house from four to five. About twenty people used to gather and he used to speak on a book called Vichar Sagar, I remember. It's a very ancient book of direct teachings from Vedanta, written by a Punjabi saddhu called Nichildas. I used to attend that morning meeting when I was very small, maybe seven or eight. This was happening every morning and evening. There used to be gatherings in my own town, vedanta teaching, devotional teaching, yoga teaching and kundalini yoga. All these different teachings were there. There were also discourses in the evening. This was only 70 or 80 years ago. People used to take their food and sit near their lane to attend the Satsang till 10:30 or 11:00 and then come back home. Morning and evening satsang were a must for everybody. He may be an office boy, he may be a business man, he may even be a worker. Even people who were driving hand carts used to attend.

About one bandit – robber - this was also a profession. Some go for satsang and some go for their game in the night, so he goes. So one day he was passing, he just heard someone speaking about… about a young boy having a diamond padded cap on his head and a garland of celestial gems around his neck and that's all he heard; and he stopped. He sat down near the gathering and listened. So at about 10:30 this satsang was over and the priest has collected whatsoever money was given to him after. After satsang some money's left for the priest and some gift also; so he collected and put them in a bag. And everyone is leaving for his house and he's leaving for his house - his family is waiting. This is his profession, to recite stories in the evenings.

And he's going his way and this man [the bandit] just went to him… asked him, “Give me the address of this boy you spoke about – having the diamond imbedded cap and the garland of gems around his neck… a garland. Give me this address.” Now this Brahmin priest, he's reading a story. This man tells him, "Give me the address of this boy." He says, "You know that path going to the river Yamuna, that side. At that time he goes for bath every morning at four o'clock. You go there and you will see him." "Okay, let's find. But I cannot… I cannot recognize him. I've not seen him. You come with me." So he said, “My family is waiting for me and later on your family, you know.” Then he put the pistol on the chest and he gave his introduction now: "I do not know him. You come with me and you simply tell me this man, that's all, and then you go. But two cannot hide behind one tree. You stay in that tree and I in this tree. You simply point out this is the boy and then that's all. Then I will come." And then he tied him with the rope so that he doesn't run away.

Time is now 11 p.m. He [robber] has tied him [priest]. He's hiding and now the time is passing - 11 to 4. This man spoke like this is a story, and this man says, “He didn't take it as story; he took it's a fact.” And this priest is counting every minute of his death, and this robber is counting every minute of his luck, “I will have this diamond. I'll be very rich, you see. I'll be very rich.” So he's totally concentrated. Nothing else… nothing else between him, and his mind is only concentrating on the diamond and this boy which he described - a young boy wearing a cap imbedded with diamonds, garland around his neck. Time is passing… time is passing now. This thought that this boy having diamonds around his neck. Now the time is now 4 o'clock.

And now this thought itself has manifested. You can also manifest what you think; you are not away from your thought. You are a thought itself - you become what you think. You become what you think instantly. You… you are thought. You have conviction, “I am the body.” so you are. You listen every day, “You are existence, consciousness, bliss.” This is also a thought, nothing else. Because conviction of the body is stronger than this conviction that, “I am consciousness. I am bliss.” So whatever is the stronger thought so you become. There's no doubt - you are thought itself.

So at 4 a.m. this manifested itself. The boy comes in front of him and gave him the garland and the cap he was wearing himself. “So it's very nice of you, but wait… don't go away… because I didn't have your address. There is another partner in this deed and you have something else that I did not hear. I only heard cap of the diamonds and the garland but you have something on your arm also. So this I will… this gift I will give to this priest. You come with me.” So he took this boy in front of that one. He's still tied with the rope. He thought, “He's now going to kill me. He's going to kill me.” Before reaching him he folded hands, “Sir, I told you a story from the book. Don't kill me. My wife, my children are waiting for me. Don't kill me now. I told a story - it was a story only.” Then he says, “No, no, no. You were right. I'm very thankful to you. Exactly at that time here is the boy; here is the boy and here are the diamonds. And I can only take garland and only the cap but here is something on his arm also, so I will give you this gift. Still he doesn't believe. He said, “Don't, don't, don't bluff me please. You have to kill now… kill me now, that's all. Kill me.” “You don't see?” “No, no, no, I don't see. I don't see.” Then he says, “You see this… you see this hand?” With the touch of his hand he saw who this boy was… who this boy was. And this Brahmin, this priest, now immediately saw, “I am confronting him.” He untied the priest and this priest prostrated in front of this bandit and never returned home. And this man - this is a true story - he is known as Bandit Saint. He is known as Bandit Saint still.

So I am just speaking about doubts you see. This doubt is the only thing that gives you trouble, so without doubt if you have straight away this teaching as the story has been told to you, you just listen. Anything if it is even falsely told to you it will materialize. You simply hear the word; it will manifest.

Let the teacher tell you, “You are consciousness.” and you simply hear without doubt – and what's going to happen? You listen from the teacher that you are existence, you are consciousness, you are eternal, you are deathless, you are not the body. What does he tell you that is wrong? But you don't listen to him. What wrong is there? But you have a conviction, “I am suffering, I am born, I have to die because I have listened from my parents, I have listened from my priest. So nothing is going to work.” So it's not good to have any doubt in your mind when you speak about it, you see. And it is so simple not to have doubt - it's so simple. So simple and there is no confusion if you don't entertain doubt that you are what you are. Only this veil is a doubt you see. So this veil, this doubt has become this manifestation and this is your own creation, this is your own creation, you see. And if you don't have this doubt of, “Where is the creation, and who is the creator?” then instantly you will know who you really were and are.

3 July, 1992

Driven by the Beast of Desire

Who feels that we are bound? Let us examine this important subject. When objectivity arises in consciousness it becomes conditioned, limited. This is bondage. When it is abandoned, when you become without objectivity, when there is no object in the mind, you can call this no-mind. No-mind is liberation, freedom, emancipation. There is no difference between No-mind and consciousness.

How is it possible to avoid this object? What is this object? This object arises in our consciousness. Just as a beast, an ox or bull is driven by a herdsman from behind; so craving is driving everybody. When you say, "I enjoy this, I enjoy that." it is not that you are enjoying, but you are driven like a beast by craving. You are driven by this craving from behind and you go to meet the object like a beast. You become a beast of this craving. You say, "I am enjoying, this is my desire." but this is not so. You have been driven and compelled by the object, by your craving. This craving is your herdsmen from behind. You are driven by any kind of desire. Almost all beings belong to this category: men, dogs, all are driven by cravings of this world and also of the next world. They are driven by this craving and therefore they suffer endlessly.

How is it possible to avoid this craving? You have been driven by this object, by this craving, by this desire since time immemorial; you do not remember. You have spent millions of years with this craving but each time you forget. You have spent millions of lifetimes. Where are the cravings, where are the objects, where are those relations of your incarnations prior to this one? You have been behaving in this way many times before. Now this will also disappear and you will begin another manifestation like this one. It is a never ending process.

This world cycle is a never ending. How is it possible to end it? Just by no longer giving rise to this craving. It is the easiest thing and the most difficult also. I say it is the most difficult because we see very few who have been able to do it, therefore there must be some difficulty. I say it is also the most easy, because if a man of reason chooses to be free he has to just get rid of this craving and it will end. So some say it is easy and some say it is difficult. It is difficult for those who are beasts of craving, for those who have attachments, for them it is difficult. But in their final incarnation or in the company of some good person, in contact with a sage, they will understand how to get rid of this craving. Staying near a sage they will come to know. This can be difficult; this can be very easy.

I remember a story. There was a king who learned from his guru how to be free, and he became free. As a king he was free. His wife, the queen, also used to go to the sage and she was also free. They had two sons. The elder also became free but the younger was too young. He had been hearing about the same subject but he could not do it. He was not very much attached. He had lost about fifty percent of his ego but yet he was somewhat attached. One brother was in difficulty, the other had done his work, and both parents had done it.

The king, the father of these two boys, died. The queen was very fond of her husband. She said, "Why should I live here now? We have lived together, why don't I go to this king? I'll give him company." She knew how to dispose of the elements. Our bodies are composed of five elements: earth, water, fire, air, and akash, or space. That is what our body is made of, and that is what is outside of us. Earth, water, fire, air and akash are all outside of us. Just as we borrow some money from our friends and return it, so we have borrowed these elements to fulfill our place. We borrow earth from earth, water from water, fire from fire. This Queen knew the art of disposing of her body and she turned back the loan. That which had been taken from the earth, the earth part of the body, is returned to the earth; the liquid of the body is returned to water, fire to fire, the air that we breath in and out is returned to air, and space to space. So she also disappeared.

This is an art. It belongs to yoga but everybody can practice it; it is not very difficult. Kabir did it recently in his lifetime, and many other people who prefer to disappear in this way have done it. At Kabir's death the Hindus claimed he was a Hindu and wanted to cremate him, and the Muslims said he was a Muslim and wanted to bury him. So they were having a dispute. His body was covered and they went near the body to drag it away and there were only two flowers! His samadhi is near here in UP near Gorakpur; he lived nearby in Magar. So one flower was cremated, the other flower was buried!

Like this the queen departed. The eldest son performed the ceremony which has to be performed for departed parents with great honor and respect. He did not feel any kind of sorrow. "My parents were enlightened. I am also enlightened by my enlightened parents. They are happy. They have gone to the region beyond this concept and I can see where they are." The younger brother was crying and sobbing. His brother was asking, "My dear brother, why are you sobbing? Why? What’s the matter with you?" But he didn't listen. He said, "Your parents were enlightened people. They are not to be born again. You should be happy." The younger brother didn't listen. He said, "You are crying for those who are very happy at this time. And you have had many parents like these your recent parents. You must cry for them also. You have been a tiger, what about your tiger parents? You have been a fish, what about your fish parents? You have been a mosquito, what about your mosquito parents? You have been a tree, what about your tree parents? You must cry for them also. Why don't you cry? I can show you all your millions of parents now, you can see them. I can also show you your recent parents now. I can see them and you don't because you are not an enlightened person. Therefore, you are crying, you are suffering. You will have to suffer."

This boy understood his brother. We can also end bondage if we give up craving for objects. How is it possible to stop this craving? How did this boy do it? How did his parents do it? When the craving arises in consciousness it has to arise from somewhere. "I want this. I want that." is all in-between. When you become an experiencer you want to enjoy objects of experience. To have enjoyment of any object you must first become the experiencer and create an object of experience. These two things must be there: The seer and the seen.

Between the experiencer and the experienced there is experiencing. You are that experiencing alone. You are neither the experiencer nor the object of experience. This is missed. "I am experiencing both the seer and the seen. I am seeing." This you forget. You think, "I am the seer and this is the object of sight." We miss what is in between. If you stay between them in experiencing - this is consciousness. Everyone is having this experience of consciousness always. You will have to question this experience, between experiencer and experienced. What is this which is experiencing which is neither subject nor object? You will have to inquire into this. Or directly ask yourself, "Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?"

Many people have difficulty in understanding this. Every day I receive letters from people who find it difficult to follow this. Not everyone is capable of arriving at this understanding or making this inquiry. It needs some discipline, some ground that has not been fulfilled. It is not possible to be engaged and busy with enjoyment of the senses and fulfilling your cravings on the one hand; and also wanting to be free, wanting to attend satsang, wanting to make this quest for self-knowledge on the other hand. This difficulty exists for those who are not free of running after desires and cravings. It is not possible to have both things at the same time. If you want to enjoy the world nobody is stopping you. The world is there to enjoy, so enjoy it! And if you are already satisfied then return now to your own Self for enjoyment, having enjoyed your own beauty, your own consciousness, your own bliss, you have enjoyed everything. Either this is the time of satisfaction or you run after things. Nobody has ever been satisfied running after these objects. As one object is fulfilled in the mind there are thousands waiting in queue. You have spent millions of years picking up one object after another.

Those people who have found that these cravings cannot be fulfilled are fit for the instruction of the teacher. They come, saying, "Now let me have knowledge." They have come for instruction and it will work. A dull mind which is engaged somewhere else is not listening to the instruction of the teacher and will not get the teaching although the teaching is the same. It is said that those who listen to the teaching, those who come to the teacher, those who have satsang are in their last incarnation. They have tried everything else without finding satisfaction. They could not find it last time so they have returned with only this desire for freedom. When there is only the desire for freedom they will attain freedom. Whatever age they may be they will set off one day to find the teacher, and sitting with the teacher this instruction will drive deep into their heart. They will see that here is wisdom and here is light.

Trouble comes for those who are engaged elsewhere and still say, "We want to be free". This is not going to pay them at all. If you have amritam and cyanide in the same cup it will not work. If you have to take cyanide, take it cleanly and see the result. That is the result that you have always been seeing. Now is the time to taste a drop of amritam, of nectar, of bliss. What is this nectar? It is bliss, it is consciousness, it is existence. Nectar is that which, having tasted it, you get complete satisfaction with no more searching, with no more coming and going. The only trouble is this: You cannot at the same time have enjoyment of the senses and freedom. You will have to decide. Or use up your life and have another life; there is no problem. Each one of us has already lived 8.4 million incarnations to be here today. If this is enough then let us now aspire for freedom and for freedom alone, and let us see what happens.

We are not speaking of any method anymore - you have had enough methods. Certainly no method is going to give you freedom because every method will need body, mind and senses. Whatever you do - whether you travel to holy shrines, to holy rivers, to temples, practice rituals or yoga - you need a body, you need a mind, you need senses. This mind is the root of the problem itself; this mind is samsara. It is a demon 35 million years old . You are walking hand in hand with this friend since time immemorial and you do not know who this fellow is. Still you do not know. Why don't you part company with him just for five minutes and see - see how free you are without mind! We have seen that when all objects are abandoned from consciousness you have no mind. When there is no objectification in consciousness you are immediately free.

For some this is very easy; listening to the instruction of the teacher alone is enough. For some dispassion and effort is advised, dispassion and sadhana is advised. This sadhana is: If you forget yourself, again and again return to This. Again return to This. You will get rid of this mind.

What is the mind? Just one thought is mind. This one thought is manifestation, is 35 million years. Abandonment of this one thought is freedom. So this is very easy or very difficult. When you utter the word ‘I’ it takes you back 35 million years: just the thought of ‘I’. As far back as you go you will find an endless past in this one ‘I’. You will find the future and the present also contained in this ‘I’ thought. This one ‘I’ thought has created millions of people. It has created heaven and hell.

This one thought is also the key to ending past, present and future. It can also liberate you. To abandon this one ‘I’ thought is liberation; to cling to it is bondage. One is easy, other one is difficult. This is your choice and you have to make your choice this instant. You are free from the beginning. Who told you that you are bound? You have chosen to be bound because of craving to enjoy, and you are not satisfied so far. Now let us sit together and help each other to get rid of just this one ‘I’ thought. How can this be called difficult, just to get rid of this ‘I’ thought? Where does it exist? When you search for it or try to see it or touch it or feel it or even conceptualize it, it does not appear. We never look for this ‘I’ thought; we like to be chased by it like a beast.

22 June, 1992